Russ’s Review, “The Mark of Zorro.” 1940

I tease my family and friends with an old adage of mine regarding movies; “Any movie is automatically better with swords in it!” To which I usually get a few wide eyed stares! I truly enjoy swashbuckling pirate movies, dashing musketeer movies, and brave brawny Viking movies. Yeah, pretty much any movie with a sword in it is good with me. And this one is one of the better of all the movies with swords.

For more on this great article go to:http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/10/16/russs-review-the-mark-of-zorro-1940/

Kiss, Kiss, Pow! Pow! Why Couples Fight In Public

You know those clever zingers that fly back and forth between couples, usually in front of a crowd? If they're meant to be funny, how come the room always falls silent? Here, a look at the drivers behind picking public fights.

For more on this article go to:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleoprah.aspx?cp-documentid=21816725

Preparing For an Empty Nest as a Single Father:

As my introduction mentions, I’ve spent a good portion of the last 25 years being a single dad to three great kids and while that road has had its bumps and potholes it has helped me build and maintain a good relationship with my kiddos. My oldest two moved out a few years ago and they’ve gone on to begin building lives of their own – I am proud of them and the fine, young, adults they’ve become. My youngest has remained at home and he and I have enjoyed the last couple of years and the opportunity this time has given us to spend some great times together.

Sadly that’s about to come to an end. My boy let me know a few weeks ago that he’s moving out to pursue his dreams and ambitions and begin building his own life as well. I am just as proud of him as I am of the other two and I’m confident that he’ll do well. But, to be honest, it’s going to be a transition for me. To go from a house full to a house empty will be a big change. It will also be a big transition in the nature of the relationship between he and I . . . and while that’s a good and healthy thing – it is still something of a loss. A loss of my little boy; and a challenge in renegotiating a relationship with a young and newly independent man.

For more on this GREAT article go to;

http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/10/06/preparing-for-an-empty-nest-as-a-single-father/

Russ’s Review: “His Girl Friday”

Snappy banter and quick witted come backs high light this fast paced movie set in the age of newspapers.

Starring one of the greatest actors of golden age of movies, Cary Grant, Rosalind Russell and Ralph Bellamy this movie takes you on a dizzying spin through the competitive world of the newspaper business as it was in the early half of the 20th century. Throw in a romance, a little jail break drama and you’ve got a great mix of entertainment in front of you!

For more on this GREAT article go to;

http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/10/09/hildy-done-what-walter-divorced-me-makes-a-fella-lose-all-faith-in-himself-gives-him-a-almost-gives-him-a-feeling-he-wasnt-wanted-his-girl-friday/

Why savers and spenders marry

When my husband started a new job teaching at a local college this fall, I suggested that he might need some work clothes. Then I braced myself for a fight.

For more on this article see;

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/LoveAndMoney/why-savers-and-spenders-marry.aspx

Russ’s Review, “The Tin Star”

These are just some of the words sage and cynical Morg Hickman (played by Henry Fonda) uses to try teach young, naive, and certainly wet behind the ears new sheriff Ben Owens (played by Anthony Perkins).

For more on this post go to;

http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/09/30/paste-this-in-your-hat-a-guns-only-a-tool-you-can-master-a-gun-if-you-got-the-knack-harder-to-learn-men-morg-hickman-the-tin-star/

Thanks!

“Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.” Elwood P. Dowd, “Harvey”

That sums up “Harvey”. A 1950 movie starring James Stewart in the lead role of Elwood P. Dowd. Elwood spends his days (and nights!) visiting his friends and the taverns of his community with his best friend, Harvey. Here is where the conflict of the movie arises. As Elwood explains, Harvey is a “pooka”. What is a pooka you might ask? A pooka, is a mythic Celtic spirit that only appears to certain people. It is often friendly with a mischievous side to it’s personality. Harvey in this case is a 6 foot tall white rabbit that is invisible to most everyone.

For more on this post go to:

http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/09/28/well-for-years-i-was-smart-i-recommend-pleasant-elwood-p-dowd-harvey/

Parasites

Hello dudesndivorce.com readers!

This morning I woke up thinking about parasites, yeah, what a cheerful thought, huh? But I wasn’t thinking about your everyday parasites like leaches and ticks (well, not necessarily I suppose) rather those kind of people whether they are individuals or groups that have a tendency to attach themselves to others when their “chips are down”. At first they may present themselves as being concerned for you and your welfare or even some other mutual good cause but in the end you find they are just looking out for themselves. Naturally as you go through a divorce and for a time thereafter you are vulnerable to these types of people. You may or may not be approached by them and you may or may not succumb to their deceptions.

For more on this post go to:

http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/09/25/parasites/

Cookin' up a New Relationship

Hello dudesndivorce.com readers!

Have you ever bit into some real good looking piece of food only to find out that it wasn’t cooked all the way? Shocking, huh? And sort of gross too?

Perhaps you were so eager to eat it because it looked SOOO GOOD or maybe you haven’t eaten in a long time so you were extremely famished and JUST had to get something in your mouth and belly FAST!!! You know what I mean? Either way when you saw or tasted (or felt, yuch!!!) that raw food in your mouth you suddenly realized it would’ve been a better idea to wait until it was fully cooked, right?

For the rest of this post go to:

http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/09/23/cookin-up-a-new-relationship/

8 Dating Rules for Divorced Men

If you're hoping to get your dating mojo back after your divorce, we're here to help. These eight rules should effectively help ease your way back to romance.
When men begin dating again after divorce, they need to go back to basics to recapture their dating skills. "A guy's got to ask himself, 'When I've dated in the past, what have women liked and what can I do again?'" says Gayle Crist, a dating coach in Doylestown, PA, and author of How I Met My Second Husband Online at Age 50. If the marriage was a long-standing one, it may be hard to remember the specifics! So, here are eight simple rules divorced men need to know about dating
(for the rest of this article go to http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlematch.aspx?cp-documentid=16048041 )

Perceptions

Something occurred to me this morning during my morning run that I felt somewhat relevant to many of us.
You see, this morning I felt, or rather I felt or perceived that my body felt better or more fit and even a little more loose than on a previous run. The last time I has headed out the door I felt stiff despite a good warm up.
Regardless of my “feelings” or perceptions as I watched my wristwatch my times around the track did not vary enough to make any real difference. I recalled years ago when I did run a LOT (I was fairly serious, putting in close to 40 to 50 miles in a week.) and I remembered the same phenomenon. Despite what I felt that “feeling” was rarely reflected in my time. In fact there were times when I felt like crap that I put in my best times and instances when I “felt” great and would put in one of my worst workouts! (for the rest of this great article go to - http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/08/03/perceptions/ )

On Line Surveys and Divorced Men

You've very likely seen pitches like this that you receive via spam:"Earn $140 per week! Earn $560 a week! Earn $6,270 a year! All by just sitting home, sipping coffee, and filling out surveys."Is this too good to be true?Yes. Although it does make sense that a few companies are willing to pay for market research by using online surveys, we believe this is not a good way to spend your time.Here's how the scam works: Scammers use spam and promise you quick money for little effort. They claim that you only need to spend a few minutes and you'll earn excellent money. Of course, you have to pay the "low" price of $34.95 to learn how to do this.So their goal is to get thousands of people paying $34.95 (or whatever amount is charged) for the info.This would be fine if they didn't spam -- and actually delivered what they promised. However, the vast majority of these online survey products are worthless.Now, you may be thinking, "Well, I'll go online and find a site that screens out the scammers and ranks paid survey sites, and that way I'll find the legitimate online survey companies."This makes sense on the surface, but unfortunately, many of these "ranking" sites may actually be middlemen who are paid commissions by the survey companies for referrals. Often, whoever pays the most to the ranking site gets the highest rating, and the online survey companies they rank well are not necessarily reliable.Are there legitimate online survey companies? Yes, there must be, but unfortunately, it's almost impossible to find them. It's like picking a needle out of a 77,300,000 haystack (type "online surveys" into a Google search for similar results).
(Hey guys! I included this article because I know many of us divorced men are looking for a good side income - the rest of this article can be found at the following link - this is also a good site to visit on other possible scams! http://www.scambusters.org/onlinesurveys.html )

Summary
According to these analyses, the majority of men and women will marry at some point: The probability that men and women will marry by age 40 is over 80%. Important differences arise, however, in the timing of first marriage. Women tend to marry at younger ages than men, and fewer non-Hispanic black men and women have been married at all ages relative to non-Hispanic white and Hispanic men and women. Marriage is uncommon for all groups in the teen years, but disparities in the probability of first marriage between the race groups increase with age. Non-Hispanic white women have a 90% probability of having married for the first time by age 40, compared with a 63% probability for non-Hispanic black women.
Overall, greater percentages of men have not married by age 35 than women. Although being poor is associated with greater proportions of men and women not marrying by age 35, there are again racial and ethnic variations. Greater percentages of poor non-Hispanic black men aged 35-44 have not married by age 35 than those who are at least 200% above the poverty level. Although the data suggest a similar trend for non-Hispanic white and Hispanic men, poverty status was not significantly related to marriage by age 35 for them. (This is just the summary of a very interesting article that you can access by going to: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/databriefs/db19.htm )

Divorce Stats

Marriage and Divorce
(Data are for the U.S.)

Number of marriages: 2,230,000
Marriage rate: 7.5 per 1,000 total population
Divorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (46 reporting States and D.C.)
Source: Births, Marriages, Divorces, and Deaths: Provisional Data for 2005, Table A

More Data
Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the United States
Detailed marriage and divorce Tables by state
Divorce rates by state, 1990-2004
Marriage rates by state, 1990-2004

Related Links
Change in the reporting of marriage and divorce statistics
National Survey of Family Growth
Where to Write for Vital Records
U.S. Census Bureau

(for more visit: http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/divorce.htm )

Compassion
The next virtue in The Book of Virtues and in our series is Compassion. Webster’s defines compassion as a: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it. I think that underscores an important point – compassion isn’t just about being “sympathetically” aware of the distress of others . . . it is also about a desire to ease that distress; it’s not just enough to feel bad for the beggar on the street . . . you have to throw some money into his hat as well. So how does this apply to the average divorced “dude”? Well to start off with I’d like to point out that when you are in the process of going through a divorce it can be very much like a battle; you are completely focused on strategies, tactics, ground lost, objectives won and gaining the high ground in one sense or another. To a large degree that kind of focus is necessary and needful since you are fighting for your financial survival as well as your future. But this focus can become myopic to the exclusion of your ability to see or be aware of the collateral damage being inflicted on others. It can really come as a shock to some men to realize how deeply their children, family and friends have been hurt by the war being waged between them and their ex-spouse. (For the rest of this post click here: http://dudesndivorce.com/2009/07/23/the-divorced-man-and-compassion/ )